When Divorce Gets Messy: Spousal Battles When Splitting Up

 Posted on June 20, 2025 in Property Division

Divorce can be complex, emotional, and contentious. In some cases, divorce can leave long-lasting emotional scars and long-term financial issues. While there are certainly some divorces that are relatively amicable, many more have one or more issues of contention. There are statistics suggesting that the vast majority of divorces in America are uncontested (meaning there is no trial), but this does not mean there were no arguments along the way.

Most couples are realistic enough to know that, eventually, they need to decide their divorce issues on their own, even if it is done grudgingly. Once a divorce goes to trial, a judge usually ends up making all the decisions, with neither spouse being happy about the outcome.

Contested divorces cost more and take more time, which makes resolutions between spouses far more appealing. If you believe there will be areas of contention between you and your spouse, it is a good idea to consult a Plainfield, IL divorce lawyer who can help negotiate solutions that are fair to both sides.

Material Items – The Five Most Common Conflicts

An urban legend recounts the story of a married couple who fought for four long years during their divorce over which spouse would get the ceramic owl in the garden. True or not, most divorce attorneys have their own stories of couples who have spent months or years fighting over a material item.

Of course, this does not even scratch the surface of the non-material items spouses fight over, the most common of these being children’s time with each parent and spousal support. The top five material items couples fight over during a divorce include:

The Marital Home

For many couples, the marital home is the single largest asset they own. Add to this the sentimental value one or both spouses may place on the home, and you can see why deciding what to do with the marital home is the number one argument among divorcing spouses. If there is no compelling reason to keep the home or if it is a financial drain due to taxes, mortgage, insurance, maintenance, and repairs, it may be time to let go of the sentimental attachment and make the financially sound decision.

Photo Albums

While many families store their photos digitally, many still have photo albums. These albums often represent the best family memories, especially those of children and pets. The best idea may be to have duplicates of the photo albums made. Digital photos can be easily duplicated on a flash drive, allowing both spouses to have access.

Furniture and Appliances

Furniture or appliances with significant monetary value should be appraised, then divided by letting one spouse choose one item, the other choose one item, and so on, keeping tabs on the value so that both spouses end up with items of approximately equal value. In some cases, a piece of furniture may have sentimental value. If it is sentimental to both parties, perhaps they can flip a coin or find another way to decide.

Children’s Belongings

Surprisingly, children’s belongings are very contentious items to divide. Regardless of the parents’ wishes, the children’s possessions should stay where the children live for the majority of the time. If the parents have a true 50/50 split, then the belongings will have to be divided between each parent’s home.

Heirlooms and Keepsakes

Family heirlooms that have been passed down from beloved family members could be anything from jewelry to antiques and everything in between. If the family heirloom was specifically given to one spouse by that spouse’s family member, it should be considered a non-marital asset and should go with the spouse to whom it was given.

Contact a Will County, IL Divorce Lawyer

Messy divorces often stem from unresolved emotions. Focus on the big picture, and consult an experienced Joliet, IL divorce attorney from Reeder & Brown, P.C..  Our attorneys are committed to honesty, integrity, and delivering exemplary client service. Call 815-885-5980 to schedule your free consultation.